June 21, 2012

How To Survive a Wolf Attack

I have to admit, while watching the movie The Grey with Liam Neeson I became fascinated with wolf attacks.  Even though statistically speaking you would have more of a chance of being mauled by Winnie the Pooh, it could happen.  Although an attack from a wolf pack would probably be fatal due to their numbers and relentless attacks, it is possible to survive an attack from one wolf.

Here are 10 ways to survive a wolf attack:

1.  SHOW HIM PICS OF UGLY FAMILY MEMBERS.
Don’t laugh, we all have them why not put those pics to good use.

2.  DON'T RUN (UNLESS TO A TREE).
If you have a dog you know why I said that.  It will automatically trigger the wolf's desire to chase you down.  And since a wolf can run 35 miles an hour you are going to have to face it.

3.  CLIMB A TREE.
If you're isolated with no weapons, scale the closest tree.  A wolf cannot climb trees, so for the immediate moment you are safe.  Be careful though if you think the coast is clear, he may be waiting for you to tire and come down.

4.  MAKE A LOT OF NOISE

If the wolf is at a distance and checking you out, make a lot of noise.  Shout, scream, bang pots...do what ever it takes to make noise.

5.  GET TO YOUR FEET.

If confrontation is inevitable, you don’t want to be on the ground.  There have been reports of wolves attacking people in their sleeping bags.

6.  MAKE YOURSELF APPEAR TALLER.

Some biologists say that wolves are creatures of opportunity.  If they find a child or smaller adult they might try their luck, but if you make yourself look bigger they may not think it worth the fight.

7.  GET IT IN A HEADLOCK.
This may sound ridiculous, but on January 5, 2005 a man in Alaska decided to go on a 3 mile run home from work.  Fred Desjarlais, 55, saw a wolf coming out of a ditch.  The wolf circled and lunged at him.  Desjarlais tried in vain to scare him off with yells, but the wolf would not leave.  Through all the relentless bites,  Desjarlais managed to wrestle  the wolf to the ground.  He got on the wolf’s back and put him in a headlock forcing his head to the ground.  He was not letting go.  About a minute had passed, when a bus from his milling company rode by and saw him.  Some of the guys jumped in to help.  Despite sustaining serious injuries, his thick clothing and excellent wrestling skills kept him alive.

8.  FIST IN THE MOUTH.
Probably your last idea for fending off a wolf is going near his mouth, but some biologists suggest stuffing your balled up fist down his throat.  Doing this will stop the wolf from biting you and stop him from breathing.  It might not only save you, but if you survived you would be one bad dude.

9.  PUNCH IT IN THE NOSE.
The nose or snout on a wolf are sensitive and a good smack to the nose may send him packing.

10.  RESPECT IT.
The largest recorded wolf in Alaska was found in 1939 weighing in at 179lb.  Post WWII,  a wolf was killed in the former Soviet Union weighing in at between 200-210lbs.  Wolves are not just big dogs, but are the largest of the canine family. They are quite intelligent when in their environment and an apex predator...respect them or pay the price.

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